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Wired For Love

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Wired for Love

Wired for Love Book
Author : Stan Tatkin
Publisher : New Harbinger Publications
Release : 2012-01-02
ISBN : 1608820599
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider's guide to understanding a partner's brain and promoting love and trust within a romantic relationship. Readers learn ten scientific principles they can use to avoid triggering fear and panic in their partners, manage their partners' emotional reactions when they do become upset, and recognize when the brain's threat response is hindering their ability to act in a loving way. By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a ""warring brain"" mentality and toward a more cooperative ""loving brain"" understanding of the relationship. Based in the sound science of neurobiology, attachment theory, and emotion regulation research, this book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.

Wired for Love

Wired for Love Book
Author : Stan Tatkin
Publisher : New Harbinger Publications
Release : 2012-01-02
ISBN : 1608826406
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. Strengthen your relationship by: • Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” • Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected • Learning to fight so that nobody loses • Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.

Wired for Love

Wired for Love Book
Author : Stephanie Cacioppo
Publisher : Flatiron Books
Release : 2022-04-05
ISBN : 125079062X
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

From the world’s foremost neuroscientist of romantic love comes a personal story of connection and heartbreak that brings new understanding to an old truth: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. At thirty-seven, Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo was content to be single. She was fulfilled by her work on the neuroscience of romantic love—how finding and growing with a partner literally reshapes our brains. That was, until she met the foremost neuroscientist of loneliness. A whirlwind romance led to marriage and to sharing an office at the University of Chicago. After seven years of being inseparable at work and at home, Stephanie lost her beloved husband, John, following his intense battle with cancer. In Wired for Love, Stephanie tells not just a science story but also a love story. She shares revelatory insights into how and why we fall in love, what makes love last, and how we process love lost—all grounded in cutting-edge findings in brain chemistry and behavioral science. Woven through it all is her moving personal story, from astonishment to unbreakable bond to grief and healing. Her experience and her work enrich each other, creating a singular blend of science and lyricism that’s essential reading for anyone looking for connection.

Wired for Dating

Wired for Dating Book
Author : Stan Tatkin
Publisher : New Harbinger Publications
Release : 2016-01-02
ISBN : 1626253056
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate. Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship. Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life. If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.

We Do

We Do Book
Author : Stan Tatkin
Publisher : Sounds True
Release : 2018-12-01
ISBN : 1622038940
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

“If you and your prospective partner adopt the principles and skills I describe here, your relationship will be successful—not just for starters, but for the long run.” An indispensable guide for any couple ready to set the foundation for a loving and lasting union Committing fully to a loving partnership—a “we”—can be one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences you’ll ever have. Yet as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, it can also be one of the most challenging. Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce, and chances go down from there. So how do you beat the odds? “All successful long-term relationships are secure relationships,” writes psychotherapist Stan Tatkin. “You and your partner take care of each other in a way that ensures you both feel safe, protected, accepted, and secure at all times.” In We Do, Tatkin provides a groundbreaking guide for couples. You’ll figure out whether you and your partner are right for each other in the long term, and if so, give your relationship a strong foundation so you can enjoy a secure and lasting love. Highlights include: Create a shared vision for your relationship, the key to a strong foundation It’s all about prevention—learn tools and techniques for preventing problems before they occur Understand how to work with the psychological and biological influences in your relationship—neuroscience, arousal regulation, attachment theory, and more Numerous case studies with helpful examples of healthy and unhealthy interactions, sample dialogues, and reflections Dozens of exercises—the newlywed game, reading facial expressions, and many more fun and serious practices to develop intimacy and security Handling conflict—how to broker win-win outcomes Build a loving relationship that helps you thrive and grow as both individuals and a couple Common interests, physical attraction, shared values, and good communication skills are the factors most commonly thought to indicate a good partnership. Yet surprisingly, current research reveals that these are only a small part of what makes for a healthy marriage—much more important are psychological and biological influences. With We Do, you’ll learn to navigate these elements and more, giving your relationship the best possible chance to succeed.

Wired Love

Wired Love Book
Author : Ella Cheever Thayer
Publisher : DigiCat
Release : 2022-06-02
ISBN : 0987650XXX
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

This is an adorable story of online love in the late Victorian era. It tells about the affection that emerged from the telegraph chat of two operators that had never seen each other before. Although it was written in the 1880s, the story's spirit is amazingly contemporary. The main character wanted to solve the confusion of a misspelled word with another operator, known as "C." From this point, they started exchanging messages. Their story is full of charm—unexpected turns and pitfalls known to everyone who started their relations online.

Wired for Story

Wired for Story Book
Author : Lisa Cron
Publisher : Random House Digital, Inc.
Release : 2012
ISBN : 1607742454
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

"This guide reveals how writers can take advantage of the brain's hard-wired responses to story to captivate their readers' minds through each plot element"--Provided by publisher.

A General Theory of Love

A General Theory of Love Book
Author : Thomas Lewis,Fari Amini,Richard Lannon
Publisher : Vintage
Release : 2007-12-18
ISBN : 0307424340
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

This original and lucid account of the complexities of love and its essential role in human well-being draws on the latest scientific research. Three eminent psychiatrists tackle the difficult task of reconciling what artists and thinkers have known for thousands of years about the human heart with what has only recently been learned about the primitive functions of the human brain. A General Theory of Love demonstrates that our nervous systems are not self-contained: from earliest childhood, our brains actually link with those of the people close to us, in a silent rhythm that alters the very structure of our brains, establishes life-long emotional patterns, and makes us, in large part, who we are. Explaining how relationships function, how parents shape their child’s developing self, how psychotherapy really works, and how our society dangerously flouts essential emotional laws, this is a work of rare passion and eloquence that will forever change the way you think about human intimacy.

Wired for Intimacy

Wired for Intimacy Book
Author : William M. Struthers
Publisher : ReadHowYouWant.com
Release : 2010-02
ISBN : 1458765555
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

Pornography is powerful. Our contemporary culture as been pornified, and it shapes our assumptions about identity, sexuality, the value of women and the nature of relationships. Countless Christian men struggle with the addictive power of porn. But common spiritual approaches of more prayer and accountability groups are often of limited help. In this book neuroscientist and researcher William Struthers explains how pornography affects the male brain and what we can do about it. Because we are embodied beings, viewing pornography changes how the brain works, how we form memories and make attachments. By better understanding the biological realities of our sexual development, we can cultivate healthier sexual perspectives and interpersonal relationships. Struthers exposes false assumptions and casts a vision for a redeemed masculinity, showing how our sexual longings can actually propel us toward sanctification and holiness in our bodies. With insights for both married and single men alike, this book offers hope for freedom from pornography.

Love and War in Intimate Relationships Connection Disconnection and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy

Love and War in Intimate Relationships  Connection  Disconnection  and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy Book
Author : Marion Solomon,Stan Tatkin
Publisher : W. W. Norton & Company
Release : 2011-04-11
ISBN : 0393706729
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

Neuroscience and couples therapy come together to help couples break patterns of bad behavior. What happens between partners that makes love turn to war? How can couples therapists help deescalate the battles? Two leading therapists apply the latest neuroscience research on emotional arousal to help couples regulate each other’s emotions, maintain secure attachment, and foster positive, enduring relationships. The neurobiologically-grounded and sensitive approach set forth by Solomon and Tatkin in this book is sure to transform the way clinicians understand and treat couples in therapy.

Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space Between A Clinician s Guide

Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space Between  A Clinician s Guide Book
Author : Harville Hendrix,Helen LaKelly Hunt
Publisher : W. W. Norton & Company
Release : 2021-04-20
ISBN : 0393713822
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

The first-ever book on Imago Relationship Therapy from its creators geared toward therapists. Developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt in the 1980s, Imago Relationship Therapy helps couples—and everyone in significant relationships—shift from conflict to connection by transforming the quality of their interactions. Now, for the first time, the essential principles and practices of Imago, as illustrated in the New York Times bestseller Getting the Love You Want, are presented for the benefit of both novice and seasoned clinicians. Using the Imago processes, couples create a Conscious Partnership in which they feel safe, fully alive, and joyful, learning to be mutually empathic for each other’s childhood challenges and present to each other without judgement. Hendrix and Hunt help couples learn and practice Imago Dialogue, moving from blame and reactivity to mutual acceptance, affirmation, and empathy, thus deepening their connection. Joining theory and practice with elegance, and filled with examples, exercises, and dialogues, this is a book no couples therapist can afford to be without.

A Book About Love

A Book About Love Book
Author : Jonah Lehrer
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Release : 2016-07-12
ISBN : 1476761396
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

“Jonah Lehrer has a lot to offer the world….The book is interesting on nearly every page….Good writers make writing look easy, but what people like Lehrer do is not easy at all.” —David Brooks, The New York Times Book Review Science writer Jonah Lehrer explores the mysterious subject of love. Weaving together scientific studies from clinical psychologists, longitudinal studies of health and happiness, historical accounts and literary depictions, child-rearing manuals, and the language of online dating sites, Jonah Lehrer’s A Book About Love plumbs the most mysterious, most formative, most important impulse governing our lives. Love confuses and compels us—and it can destroy and define us. It has inspired our greatest poetry, defined our societies and our beliefs, and governs our biology. From the way infants attach to their parents, to the way we fall in love with another person, to the way some find a love for God or their pets, to the way we remember and mourn love after it ends, this book focuses on research that attempts, even in glancing ways, to deal with the long-term and the everyday. The most dangerous myth of love is that it’s easy, that we fall into the feeling and then the feeling takes care of itself. While we can easily measure the dopamine that causes the initial feelings of “falling” in love, the partnerships and devotions that last decades or longer remain a mystery. This book is about that mystery. Love, Lehrer argues, is not built solely on overwhelming passion, but, fascinatingly, on a set of skills to be cultivated over a lifetime.

Love Sense

Love Sense Book
Author : Dr. Sue Johnson
Publisher : Little, Brown Spark
Release : 2013-12-31
ISBN : 0316251089
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

The bestselling author of Hold Me Tight presents a revolutionary new understanding of why and how we love, based on cutting-edge research. Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" -- our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival. Love Sense covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love; the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more. Based on groundbreaking research, Love Sense will change the way we think about love.

Wired for Culture Origins of the Human Social Mind

Wired for Culture  Origins of the Human Social Mind Book
Author : Mark Pagel
Publisher : W. W. Norton & Company
Release : 2012-02-27
ISBN : 0393063151
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

“Does an excellent job of using evolutionary biology to discuss the origins of religion, music, art, and . . . morality.”—Publishers Weekly, starred review A unique trait of the human species is that our personalities, lifestyles, and worldviews are shaped by an accident of birth—namely, the culture into which we are born. It is our cultures and not our genes that determine which foods we eat, which languages we speak, which people we love and marry, and which people we kill in war. But how did our species develop a mind that is hardwired for culture—and why? Evolutionary biologist Mark Pagel tracks this intriguing question through the last 80,000 years of human evolution, revealing how an innate propensity to contribute and conform to the culture of our birth not only enabled human survival and progress in the past but also continues to influence our behavior today. Shedding light on our species’ defining attributes—from art, morality, and altruism to self-interest, deception, and prejudice—Wired for Culture offers surprising new insights into what it means to be human.

This Time Next Year We ll Be Laughing

This Time Next Year We ll Be Laughing Book
Author : Jacqueline Winspear
Publisher : Soho Press
Release : 2020-11-10
ISBN : 1641292709
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

A 2021 Edgar Award Nominee for Best Critical/Biographical “Jacqueline Winspear has created a memoir of her English childhood that is every bit as engaging as her Maisie Dobbs novels, just as rich in character and detail, history and humanity. Her writing is lovely, elegant and welcoming.”—Anne Lamott The New York Times bestselling author of the Maisie Dobbs series offers a deeply personal memoir of her family’s resilience in the face of war and privation. After sixteen novels, Jacqueline Winspear has taken the bold step of turning to memoir, revealing the hardships and joys of her family history. Both shockingly frank and deftly restrained, her story tackles the difficult, poignant, and fascinating family accounts of her paternal grandfather’s shellshock; her mother’s evacuation from London during the Blitz; her soft-spoken animal-loving father’s torturous assignment to an explosives team during WWII; her parents’ years living with Romany Gypsies; and Winspear’s own childhood picking hops and fruit on farms in rural Kent, capturing her ties to the land and her dream of being a writer at its very inception. An eye-opening and heartfelt portrayal of a post-War England we rarely see, This Time Next Year We’ll Be Laughing chronicles a childhood in the English countryside, of working class indomitability and family secrets, of artistic inspiration and the price of memory.

Wired for War

Wired for War Book
Author : P. W. Singer
Publisher : Penguin
Release : 2009-01-22
ISBN : 1440685975
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

“[Singer's] enthusiasm becomes infectious . . . Wired for War is a book of its time: this is strategy for the Facebook generation.” —Foreign Affairs “An engrossing picture of a new class of weapon that may revolutionize future wars. . .” —Kirkus Reviews P. W. Singer explores the great­est revolution in military affairs since the atom bomb: the dawn of robotic warfare We are on the cusp of a massive shift in military technology that threatens to make real the stuff of I, Robot and The Terminator. Blending historical evidence with interviews of an amaz­ing cast of characters, Singer shows how technology is changing not just how wars are fought, but also the politics, economics, laws, and the ethics that surround war itself. Travelling from the battlefields of Iraq and Afghanistan to modern-day "skunk works" in the midst of suburbia, Wired for War will tantalise a wide readership, from military buffs to policy wonks to gearheads.

Spiritual Evolution

Spiritual Evolution Book
Author : George Vaillant
Publisher : Harmony
Release : 2008-05-20
ISBN : 0767930045
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

In our current era of holy terror, passionate faith has come to seem like a present danger. Writers such as Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Christopher Hitchens have been happy to throw the baby out with the bathwater and declare that the danger is in religion itself. God, Hitchens writes, is not great. But man, according to George E. Vaillant, M.D., is great. In Spiritual Evolution, Dr. Vaillant lays out a brilliant defense not of organized religion but of man’s inherent spirituality. Our spirituality, he shows, resides in our uniquely human brain design and in our innate capacity for emotions like love, hope, joy, forgiveness, and compassion, which are selected for by evolution and located in a different part of the brain than dogmatic religious belief. Evolution has made us spiritual creatures over time, he argues, and we are destined to become even more so. Spiritual Evolution makes the scientific case for spirituality as a positive force in human evolution, and he predicts for our species an even more loving future. Vaillant traces this positive force in three different kinds of “evolution”: the natural selection of genes over millennia, of course, but also the cultural evolution within recorded history of ideas about the value of human life, and the development of spirituality within the lifetime of each individual. For thirty-five years, Dr. Vaillant directed Harvard’s famous longitudinal study of adult development, which has followed hundreds of men over seven decades of life. The study has yielded important insights into human spirituality, and Dr. Vaillant has drawn on these and on a range of psychological research, behavioral studies, and neuroscience, and on history, anecdote, and quotation to produce a book that is at once a work of scientific argument and a lyrical meditation on what it means to be human. Spiritual Evolution is a life’s work, and it will restore our belief in faith as an essential human striving.

Why We Love

Why We Love Book
Author : Helen Fisher
Publisher : Henry Holt and Company
Release : 2005-01-02
ISBN : 1466829443
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

A groundbreaking exploration of our most complex and mysterious emotion Elation, mood swings, sleeplessness, and obsession—these are the tell-tale signs of someone in the throes of romantic passion. In this revealing new book, renowned anthropologist Helen Fisher explains why this experience—which cuts across time, geography, and gender—is a force as powerful as the need for food or sleep. Why We Love begins by presenting the results of a scientific study in which Fisher scanned the brains of people who had just fallen madly in love. She proves, at last, what researchers had only suspected: when you fall in love, primordial areas of the brain "light up" with increased blood flow, creating romantic passion. Fisher uses this new research to show exactly what you experience when you fall in love, why you choose one person rather than another, and how romantic love affects your sex drive and your feelings of attachment to a partner. She argues that all animals feel romantic attraction, that love at first sight comes out of nature, and that human romance evolved for crucial reasons of survival. Lastly, she offers concrete suggestions on how to control this ancient passion, and she optimistically explores the future of romantic love in our chaotic modern world. Provocative, enlightening, and persuasive, Why We Love offers radical new answers to the age-old question of what love is and thus provides invaluable new insights into keeping love alive.

Leading with Love and Laughter

Leading with Love and Laughter Book
Author : Zina Sutch,Patrick Malone
Publisher : Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Release : 2021-05-25
ISBN : 1523093234
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

Leadership has for too long been treated as a model and not as a relationship. Zina Sutch and Patrick Malone argue that successful leadership must be based on love (altruism and empathy) and laughter (positive emotions and joy). Recent bestselling books have completely altered the way we understand how humans work and play together. The Altruistic Brain and Born to Be Good show that humans are deeply wired for empathy and compassion. The Social Animal and Emotional Intelligence prove that our emotional selves help us make better decisions and motivate others. However, the tactics we use to train leaders bear little reflection of these advancements; we're still creating competent but emotionally distant leaders who “manage human assets” and lead by setting goals, deadlines, and deliverables. Zina Sutch and Patrick Malone hope to flip a light switch and illuminate, above all else, that leadership begins with heart and soul. In five succinct chapters, they show that we lead best when we tap into our genetically driven human nature to love and nurture, connect and trust. This book seeks to reintroduce the warmth of human interaction and emotion into the leadership tool kit.

Avoidant

Avoidant Book
Author : Jeb Kinnison
Publisher : Unknown
Release : 2014-10-02
ISBN : 9780991663668
Language : En, Es, Fr & De

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Book Description :

Jeb Kinnison's previous book on finding a good partner by understanding attachment types (Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was how to deal with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who'd like help deciding if they should stick with it. People in relationships with Avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. The Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well-retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is ) Yet there is some hope-though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: - Seem not to care how you feel? - Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? - Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? - Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? - Act coldly toward your children and the needy? - Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? - Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from Bad Boyfriends is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there.