How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety Book PDF/Epub Download

The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety Book PDF/Epub Download

Long gone are the good old days when a cat's biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CAT ABOUT GUN SAFETY answers crucial questions such as, 'What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?' and 'What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?' and especially 'Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can't he just play with yarn like cats used to do?' America - and our cats - stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats - and America - great again!

Crafting with Cat Hair Book PDF/Epub Download

Got fur balls? Are your favorite sweaters covered with cat hair? Do you love to make quirky and one-of-a-kind crafting projects? If so, then it’s time to throw away your lint roller and curl up with your kitty! Crafting with Cat Hair shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts. From kitty tote bags and finger puppets to fluffy cat toys, picture frames, and more, these projects are cat-friendly, eco-friendly, and require no special equipment or training. You can make most of these projects in under an hour—with a little help, of course, from your feline friends!

How to Talk to Your Cat about Evolution Book PDF/Epub Download

An informational pamphlet about talking to your cat about evolution and creationism

How to Pet a Cat Book PDF/Epub Download

Keep your cat happy and pet them right with this cute and handy illustrated guide! Cats have quite a few opinions, but with easy-to-follow instructions and helpful diagrams, this book will teach you how—and how not—to illicit approving purrs, mews, and chirps. From "The Booty Lift Pet" to the "I Need That Catnip on My Desk Yesterday Pet," learn over 20 tips and tricks to be the person your cat wants you to be. With bonus insights into cat sounds, body language, and more—as well as charming, full-color illustrations—this fun, lighthearted book will delight cat lovers of all kinds! FUNNY AND RELATABLE: Everyone who has tried to pet a cat has experienced most if not all of these silly and sweet scenarios. SWEET AND EDUCATIONAL: While quirky, this book is still informative and educational. You may learn a thing or two, like why your cat loves having their face pet but will leave the room if you try to give their belly a rub. CUTE GIFT: With endearing illustrations and tongue-in-cheek advice, this is a wonderful gift for any cat owner or cat lover! Perfect for: • Cat lovers • Holiday and birthday gift shoppers • Those looking for a silly pick-me-up and something cute • For fans of How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You, I Could Pee on This, and Herding Cats

A Practical Guide to Racism Book PDF/Epub Download

"Read it with someone you hate." —Jon Stewart A hilarious look at the races of the world—capturing the proud history and bright future of racism in one handy, authoritative, and deeply offensive volume. Whether you’re laughing, cringing, or some combination of the two, A Practical Guide to Racism is sure to entertain. According to C. H. Dalton, a professor of racialist studies and an expert on inferior people of all ethnicities, genders, religions, and sexual preferences, everyone should be hated. A Practical Guide to Racism takes a satirical look at long-standing stereotypes and draws them out to their mad and illogical conclusions. At its core, this deeply sarcastic body of evidence suggests that, by the standards of racism, every race is terrible in its own right. A Practical Guide to Racism contains sparkling bits of wisdom on such subjects as: · The good life enjoyed by blacks, who shuffle through life unhindered by the white man's burdens, to become accomplished athletes, rhyme smiths, and dominoes champions · A close look at the bizarre, sweet-smelling race known as women, who are not very good at anything - especially ruling the free world · The sad story of the industrious, intelligent Jews, whose entire reputation is sullied by their taste for the blood of Christian babies · A crucial manual to Arabs, a people so sensitive they are liable to blow up at any time. Literally.

I Could Pee on This Book PDF/Epub Download

Animal lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of funny cats. In this hilarious, bestselling book of tongue-in-cheek poetry. The author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat "authors" throughout, this whimsical animal book reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable). Ideal for that "crazy cat lady" or "cat mom/dad" in your life this collection of poems makes for the perfect cat-themed gift for anyone who's obsessed with our feline friends.

Images You Should Not Masturbate To Book PDF/Epub Download

Choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, airing the orchid-whatever you call it, none of the images in this book will encourage the gentle art of self-pleasure. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.

Crap Taxidermy Book PDF/Epub Download

A humorous look at what happens when taxidermy goes terribly wrong, by the founder of the hit website crappytaxidermy.com. A relaxed toad enjoying a smoke and a brew. A cat with eerily flexible front legs. A smiling lion with receding gums. Whether you choose to laugh or cringe at these spectacularly bad attempts at taxidermy, you won't be able to tear your eyes away from the curiosities inside. This volume brings together the very best of the worst (along with a DIY "Stuff Your Own Mouse" lesson by an Insect Preparator from the American Museum of Natural History), showcasing the most perverse yet imaginative anatomical reconstructions of the animal kingdom you'll ever see.

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack Book PDF/Epub Download

Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

Fat Cat Art Book PDF/Epub Download

“It’s official. That thing that classic art has been missing is a chubby reclining kitty.” —The Huffington Post Internet meme meets classical art in Svetlana Petrova’s brilliant Fat Cat Art. Featuring her twenty-two-pound, ginger-colored cat Zarathustra superimposed onto some of the greatest artworks of all time, Petrova’s paintings are an Internet sensation. Now fans will have the ultimate full-color collection of her work, including several never-before-seen pieces, to savor for themselves or to give as a gift to fellow cat lovers. From competing with Venus’s sexy reclining pose (and almost knocking her off her chaise lounge in the process) in Titian’s Venus of Urbino, to exhibiting complete disdain as he skirts away from God’s pointing finger in Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, Zarathustra single-handedly rewrites art history in the way that only an adorable fat cat can.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You Book PDF/Epub Download

Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!

Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too Book PDF/Epub Download

“Mixes the funny with the feline . . . Showalter makes us laugh while revealing that he’s a big softie who cares a lot about the future of felines.” —Catster Michael Showalter’s Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too is the hilarious all-access guide to help a man comprehend, appreciate, and bond with the felines in his life. They say dogs are a man’s best friend. True! But what if that man’s girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, or mother-in-law has a cat? Is that the end for him? Is he resigned to an eternity of estrangement from this furry creature with which he shares his life partner, his favorite chair, and his sock drawer? Showalter offers hope for men everywhere in their quest to understand and love cats. In this intimate portrait of one man’s love for cats, you will learn the answers to burning questions such as: Why are they all aloof and weird and stuff?; They hate me, right?; and Is it true that they have nine lives? Armed with these and countless other valuable lessons, by the book’s end any guy can be on the fast track to becoming a cat’s best friend. “Showalter enlightens the male species on how to become loving cat people . . . it’s an inside scoop on how men can learn to love the felines that come into their lives by no choice of their own.” —Trend Hunter “Fabulously illustrated.” —Entertainment Weekly

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby Book PDF/Epub Download

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby is chockfull of comics about cats, babies, dogs, lasers, selfies, and pigeons! This book contains a vast wealth of never-before-seen comics, including informative guides, such as: How to comfortably sleep next to your cat 10 ways to befriend a misanthropic cat How to hold a baby when you are not used to holding babies A dog’s guide to walking a human being How to cuddle like you mean it Includes a pull-out poster of: How to tell if your cat thinks you’re not that big of a deal.

Vladimir Putin Life Coach Book PDF/Epub Download

What can the rise of this century's most feared politician teach us about life, work and love? Rob Sears satirises the machinations that enabled Putin to dominate the Kremlin and undermine the United States of America as ways to help you take control of your mundane life. Would you like to ruin your enemies by sharing compromising material about that time they didn't wash their hands? Fancy hacking democracy at the parent-teacher association to ensure you're a shoo-in for social secretary? Or serving up a cold dish called revenge in a high street restaurant? Filled with stories of Putin's extraordinary and chilling actions, with mocking ideas and illustrations to help you emulate him on a small scale, Vladimir Putin: Life Coach is the ultimate parody guide to releasing the pseudo-elected, judo black belt, 5D chess-playing autocrat inside each and every one of us.

Henri le Chat Noir Book PDF/Epub Download

This gift book is a collection of photos and quotes from Henri, the existential cat whose ennui has captivated people all over the world. Through his series of short films and interactions with an enthusiastic online community, Henri's contemplation and disillusion with the world has struck a chord with millions of fans. Now, finally, we have a collection of Henri's musings in his own words featuring never-before-seen photos and quotes. This book is a window into the tortured soul of the world's first feline philosopher.

Pussweek Book PDF/Epub Download

Pussweek is a magazine-style book written by cats, for cats. This means STRICTLY NO HUMANS ALLOWED, so if you have opposable thumbs just get out of here right meow! Pussweek Issue One covers important issues such as catnip addiction, litter, sleep, scratching post selection, plus competitions, advice, quizzes and much more.

How to Talk to Your Dog Book PDF/Epub Download

Download How to Talk to Your Dog book written by Perfection Learning Corporation and published by Turtleback with total hardcover pages . Available in PDF, EPUB, and Kindle, read book directly with any devices anywhere and anytime.

How to Raise Your I Q by Eating Gifted Children Book PDF/Epub Download

Lewis Burke Frumkes, one of America's very best satirists, sharpens his pen on the fads, fears, and fashions of the urban landscape. Here are 49 hilarious ways to cope with them. Explore the benefits of aerobic typing. Wile a friend with "Exotic Gifts from Harry and Larry" including "Road Imperial Valium—America's Favorite Tranquilizer—Only Better." Take charge of your next meeting with Frumkes's "New Rules of Order," which include Blurting, Interrupting, and Bullwhipping. Jump in the saddle and rope a roach—apartment style. And, of course, raise your I.Q. with a delicious "Gifted Child Fricassee."

97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You Book PDF/Epub Download

From the publisher of B. Kliban’s Cat, All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat, and Bad Cat, comes a new book that answers the question all cat lovers ask: How do I make my cat like me? 97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You is the perfect interactive guide to these mysterious, fickle, seemingly aloof—yet really, just particular—pets. Paired with a full-color photograph of friendly, extroverted, happy cats (in case you’ve forgotten what a cat looks like when he “likes” you), the 97 inspired, occasionally silly but always behaviorally-based tips and tricks prove that when a cat is treated right, he or she will respond in kind. Within reason. There’s the “Eye on the Ball”—record a tennis match or a Ping-Pong game on TV to play back for your cat when he needs a bit of exercise. “Cat Burrito”—wrap your cat in a towel, burrito-style, which is particularly good for anxious pets or trips to the vet. The “Boing, Boing!”—wind pipe cleaners around a pencil in a spiral shape to create springs. Carefully slide off the pencil so the spirals go “boing” when pressed. The classic “Tickle, Tickle”—tickle Kitty under her chin and softly say “gitchy, gitchy, gitchy” in your highest-pitched voice. And for the cat owner willing to go the distance, the “There’s No Business Like Show Business”—practice your best Ethel Merman by belting out favorite show tunes for your cat. Kitty won’t care if you’re off-key and she’ll enjoy the stimulation.

Love Is Not Constantly Wondering If You Are Making the Biggest Mistake of Your Life Book PDF/Epub Download

You are an ace starfighter pilot in the Galactic Space Force. Shot down over a mysterious planet, you have been taken captive by a ace of giant, superintelligent ants. However, the story is actually about your relationship with a young woman named Anne, and your struggles to cope with her alcoholism. Only with the right choices will you be able to save your relationship and discover the secret of the Ant-Warriors!